New Day Every Day

The trees rustle in the wind, while the clocks gently tick tock the seconds away. In the corner, my three beasts are gently snoring and dreaming of milk bones and finally catching that mean mailman. Throughout the house, no noise comes from any rooms, except the occasional gently stirrings of those in deep slumber.

But I sit at my wooden table, calming tea and gardenia candle to my right, faithful puppy sidekick to my left, and let my surroundings bring me the peace I have been looking for throughout this week.

If you have children or are about to have a child, you know the importance of these quiet moments, usually in the wee morning or the late hours to reflect and catch your breath. For me, the early morning, when my thoughts race and the lists begin to form, it is the best time to appreciate Mother Earth.

Opening the shutters and letting in the gentle light of the sunrise brings me a joy I thought I once lost. Today, I opened a shutter to discover a rose bush my Mother planted for her Stella. She said that one day, Stella will take care of the beautiful roses and think of her Lita, knowing just how much she was loved and adored.

For my little girl, I will plant gardenias by the front door, so that each time she returns home, the familiar scent will fill her soul and remind her of love. Those few precious moments when our senses bring us happiness and love, those are the best feelings that briefly flutter in and out of our lives.

I guess what I am trying to say is, today, at the beginning of Lent, take the time to stop and smell the roses (or gardenias). Take a moment to relish at the beauty that surrounds you (even if it’s snow for our friends up north) and let it wrap your senses in love.

Things NO ONE Tells You About Pregnancy

Seriously?

Over the past six (almost seven) months now, I have stumbled upon the myriad of things that I WISH someone would have told me would happen when this tiny, not so tiny, human started to grow inside of me. Why in the world wouldn't someone fill me in on the crazy changes that would occur?

WHY?!?!?!?!?!?

So let me tell you, I am sure that holding this precious little baby will completely change my life and make all these changes TOTALLY worth it, but for now, for right now in this very moment, I'm like WHOA!

For those of you who don't think kiddos are for you, thanks for swinging by and checking out the blog. This post is NOT for you. But, please feel free to giggle at the events that take place.

1) The Fred Flintstone Feet. Where the heck is water being stored and why in my feet? These days, I am not wearing my sexy high heels or hell, even my boat shoes. Wide flip flops and flats have taken over my shoe attire, SO much, that I wore flip flops to my girlfriend's wedding. Yeah. That TOTALLY happened. Crocs are my friend.

2) The Bathroom Situation. We all have a morning routine: usually shower, potty time, teeth, dress and out the door. Well, why didn't anyone tell me my body would revolt and say "Nope. Today, I will make you feel like you have the weight of the world in your bowel and make you feel heavier, just cause!"?!?!?! Why? Why people didn't you tell me this would happen. I've got one word for you, preggos: 

POPCORN. 

3) Vision Changes. Granted, my vision sucked before, but now, contacts don't go near me. While during the day and driving I can get away without glasses, it seems that in front of my computer or the TV, I mind as well be 90 years old and have coke bottle glasses. The doc won't let me change my prescription, because hormones mess with your vision. It could change, get better, get worse, go back...you know, basically do whatever it feels like.

4) Random Outbursts: Really? This means SO many different things. I've had random outburst of acne, random outbursts of tears, random outbursts of sadness, random outbursts of just anything you could imagine. I mean, I know the hormones are going crazy, but does my life get turned upside down? Am I even running it these days? Or, has a tiny human, occupying the ever growing lower portion of my body just playing tricks on me while giggling inside the womb? I think I've got a handful with what is to come....

5) Nesting: I read this portion the baby bible, aka "What To Expect When You're Expecting," and let me tell ya, it's SO true. I find myself starting a small project like cleaning out the entire fridge and shelves, or rearranging the linen closet with IKEA containers

(genius by the way), or finding pieces of furniture in my house and repurposing them! Oh and one piece of MAJOR advice while preggos:

DON'T SHOP FOR ANYTHING OVER $100 BY YOURSELF!!! YOU END UP WITH A 14FT CUSTOM WOODEN TABLE THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE TOO BIG FOR YOUR DINING ROOM!!!!

6) Love: No one could every explain just how much you can love a person that you've never met and never laid eyes on. There was no possible way to prepare me for the love that already fills my heart knowing the connection this tiny human and I have together, this bond that will last a lifetime. We hear about it. We talk about it. But, until you first feel that kick from within, a sign of your little one saying hi, no one could ever truly explain what real love feels like!

Well, that concludes today's rant of pregnancy. While I'm already in love with little Stella, her crankiness inside her cozy abdomen apartment may be driving her Momma & Daddy a little crazy. Oye, little girl, why is it always a party in there around 2 am?!?!?!?!?

What are some of the things YOU wish someone told you would happen during pregnancy???

Year End Reflections

10 Highlights- Accomplishments. Best Memories:

1.         Selling a $3 million deal at work

2.        Walking out of a building and feeling utterly free

3.        Paying off a debt and seeing “zero balance” on the screen

4.     Watching the reaction of my Mom & sisters about the latest addition to the family

5.       Seeing the joy of my nephew when he saw Mickey at his 1^st birthday party

6.      Telling Shrek that he was going to be a father

7.       Being able to provide for my family in a time of need without hesitation

8.      Meeting new friends and growing friendships

9.      Finding a niche at work to make my position irreplaceable!

10.Figuring out who I am and what I want out of life. It took 29 years, but I’m just about there!

8 Disappointments-Failures. Missed Opportunities:

1.         Continuing on a full load of classes and finishing up my degree

2.        Making the best out of my 2 months (total) in Rome & seeing what I wanted to see

3.        Learning as much as I could at work & gaining the workforce knowledge

4.     Taking that promotion with a big management company

5.       Having the chance to teach Sunday school to the kiddos

6.      Valuable lessons on why a “perfect” marriage does not exist

7.       Not listening enough to my inner self about the truth

8.      Wasting my time on those who aren’t worth it

3 Game Changers- Unexpected Events That Shifted My Priorities:

1.         Ending an era of  “Stout” & learning to be independent again

2.        Finding myself again with Shrek and thinking “this is right”

3.        Hearing the doctor say: “You’re pregnant!”

3 Things I Focused On- What I Put Most of My Time Into:

1.         Fixing up my new house

2.        Mapping out paying off ALL debts

3.        Finding a “forever” job

3 Things I Forgot- What I Didn’t Get Around To:

1.         Hitting the gym as much

2.        Finishing my master bathroom (sooooo not my fault)

3.        Scanning in ALL of that paperwork to my cloud

Life has given me such a lesson this year in letting things "waddle waddle" and just roll off my back. Like the Buddhist believe (and the OHM on my back), everything is created, nurtured and destroyed. Therefore, we must strive to keep happiness, rejoice that sadness will dissipate, and recall that a storm will always run out of rain.

Take joy in 2015 and the new adventures that we will encounter. For me, I know that 2015 will be the year that my life completely changes, and my goals in life now shift towards my baby girl, who I get to meet in April. May the roads be peaceful and full of thrills for you all.

Any thoughts and goals for 2015 on your end? 

Seeing Is Not Always Believing

 When I woke up this yesterday, I was sure the rain was a sign for me to stay in bed. What better thing to do that snuggle up to the person next to you and hear the trickle of the rain against your window, signaling you that everything in the world is indeed being taken care of at that very moment?

Well, that sting in my heart encouraged me otherwise. I gathered myself, showered and hopped in my car to a place that I had been dreading, a place that I feared, somewhere that judgment was surely to come crashing down on my head…

Church.

Simply put, I was fearful of seeing the same priest who has known me since I was five years old, saw me through my first communion, marriage counseling, married my sister and myself (just last October). I feared the look in his eyes (or was it the pity) of knowing that I was 0-2 in the marriage department.

I feared the disappointment, kind of like when you tell your parents bad news as a result of your actions. For months, I had avoided the very place that I once held sacred and dear to my heart. With the rain at my back and my shiny black boots (hey, look your best when you’re fearful, right?), I held my head high and walked into church.

There, in the movement of the music (they like to jam there) and the familiar words that I can recite in my sleep, I found peace, a sense of serenity…acceptance from a community. Today’s homily made reference to the church as a community, which had a physical front as a building, a place of worship for us to attend and feel part of a family.

We celebrated the basilicas in the world, mainly, one of the oldest standing, the rock of the Catholic faith, the Vatican in Rome, Italy. It stands as a symbol to remind Catholics (and those who chose to believe) of the family that lives, not only there, but also in every church around the world.

Even though my loves remain in Rome, whenever I go to church, I am reminded of the unity my family brings. With stormy weather that every family passes through, their love is still enough to comfort me from afar, much like that of God. I can’t see Him. I can’t hear Him. Heck, I don’t even know if He is listening when I ramble at all hours of the day, however, I feel Him.

I feel the love that surrounds me. While there is not a physical being to show me He is there, I can constantly reminded of love through my family, Shrek, the tiny kicks of joy of Baby Klima, and the amazing friends that surround me.

Faith, people. I guess yesterday’s church lesson was faith. Even though you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t working its miracles through the simple physical reminders in your day to day. Look to those when you need a little dose of love to boost your day.

After all, He is everywhere and in everything.

Life Changes

Sometimes, it only takes a simple sentence to change your life forever.

“Will you marry me?”

“Your mother and I are getting a divorce.”

“I’m moving across the world and will miss you.”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“I got the job”

Yes, the most shocking ones are usually the most depressing, but every so often, one sentence comes along that brings tears to your eyes and causes your skin to tingle with magic.

“Congratulations, you’re pregnant with a little girl!”

@ 12 Weeks Sticking Out Her Tongue...A Rebel Already, Lord Help Me

That one, that one brought me to my knees. Hearing the sonogram tech say those words made it real. Not only had the roundness in the midsection (yeah, I felt the urge to hit the gym daily but just didn’t) been feeling, eh, lazy, but it didn’t make the pregnancy REAL.

Well, ladies and gents, hearing, “yes, those three lines right there, definitely a baby girl,” gave me butterflies. It made me flash forward to looking into the eyes of a sweet baby, picking out a first dance outfit, getting her ready for her first date (and her daddy polishing his gun collection in the process), and watching her walk down the aisle. In a mere two minutes, I thought about all the milestones we would watch our baby girl take with us and prayed that I wouldn’t mess it up.

I prayed, folks, REAL hard that He gave me the strength to follow in the steps of my amazingly incredibly strong Mother, who always taught us to use our heart and brains to get anywhere we wanted to be. I prayed that I’d have her compassion and generous heart to give to my daughter.

My daughter…

Even writing this, it brings tears to my eyes to know that a tiny human lives (and now breathes) inside of me at this moment. My lil’ angel watches over me daily and knows how much this means to me. God’s given me another chance, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make this round a perfect one.

So, my dearest baby girl, I’ll do my best to be a good mommy for you, to be your biggest supporter, always in  your corner and your best friend. I won’t always be the one you run to, but know I’ll ALWAYS be here when you need me.

Dear the next few months, please go easy on me. The world spins enough, how about we go easy on the nausea, huh?